the other day my mother called FREAKING out and crying because she got a letter she would lose her job and benifits in a month if she didnt get back to work.
she had her hip replaced and has had a few setbacks one of which included and ER visit. the HR lady she deals with seems like a total bitch. anyway...she freaking out about this asking ME what she should do.
i think thats stupid. what the fuck could i say? doesnt she have any life experience? i tell her what to do and she comes up with excuses on why its too hard when the other option is starve, become homeless and not have medical for my dad who has cancer right now.
i finally said to her that the circumstances dont care what you feel like about any of this. you gotta do what you gotta do.
i felt like i was talking to a 14 year old.
she acted like it was so hard to go to the welfare office. i have done that myself. i dont see what the big deal was at all. the social worker and i were joking about living on ramen and laughing and stuff.
and on top of this she was freaking out and it was my little brothers birthday. its like..buy a cake and say fuck it till monday. this may be the last bday you all have together.
she had her hip replaced and has had a few setbacks one of which included and ER visit. the HR lady she deals with seems like a total bitch. anyway...she freaking out about this asking ME what she should do.
i think thats stupid. what the fuck could i say? doesnt she have any life experience? i tell her what to do and she comes up with excuses on why its too hard when the other option is starve, become homeless and not have medical for my dad who has cancer right now.
i finally said to her that the circumstances dont care what you feel like about any of this. you gotta do what you gotta do.
i felt like i was talking to a 14 year old.
she acted like it was so hard to go to the welfare office. i have done that myself. i dont see what the big deal was at all. the social worker and i were joking about living on ramen and laughing and stuff.
and on top of this she was freaking out and it was my little brothers birthday. its like..buy a cake and say fuck it till monday. this may be the last bday you all have together.
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 8:20 AMMaybe tell her "the system is there to help good people like you mom....."
That's what someone said for me to take the 1st big giant step & Thank All the Gods I did!!!!!
With all we may complain about imperfections in this country there Is a safety net. & nets are not just easy walk throughs but you don't end up smashed like a bug on a windshield!
Or living under the freeway>>>>>>>>>>> -
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 1:07 PMi did.
she feels that she is lowering herself to be a recipent of that.
shows what a judgemental bitch she is and how its coming back to bite her in the ass. which i also tried to explain to her in a nicer way. but it was like..WOOOOOOOOOOSH strait over her head. -
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 2:44 PMpeople never want to hear the truth.
it took 3 strokes and being stuck in a wheelchair for my dad to come to terms with 'his life' and wanted to start doing anything about it- by then it was basically too late- but he gave me some great advice before he lost all lucidity-
one day at a time- that's all you can deal with- all the rest gets thrown into a basket in your mind until you can do something about it-
ask her if she wants to spend everyday wondering if she's going to be able to eat and wonder how long her partner is going to be there in that situation...
~and you are mentioning welfare- but what about disability? it doesn't have to be work related in order to recieve disability payments- but i think you know that violet...
lowering herself to telling someone she has a problem?
she's still drinking, isn't she? that's what that sounds like ... -
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 6:02 PM...because with any alcoholic....its never their fault.
Not their fault they're this way or in this situation.
Not their fault everyone thinks they have a problem.
Not their fault they need help.
My dad finally applied for disability for his back. He has never had a job other than farming, self employed. He qualified, and gets enough to get by. If he'd quit drinking, he'd even have enough to have a phone and buy groceries.
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 8:15 PMsometimes i think she like the crisis and the illness. like it gives her an identity. i dont know if she is drinking . talk to them maybe once a month if that and see them less than that. -
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 8:24 PMit does give her identity as far as she's concerned-
like my mom has a tendency to live by her fear -
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 9:28 PMhow can one live like that?
i dont understand it at all. there are so many positive things you could make you identity of.....
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Re: acting like she never had a problem before
Tue, January 17, 2006 - 8:47 AMCrisis does give people an identity & importance= Drama Queens. & I know that sometimes you don't realize that life has corraled you into being one; that's how I feel my drunken mother created my mode of world importance cz I was always in/on emergency, or trying to hide a real one from the world(ie having to get help) & still am trying to get out of that MO. If nothing else emergencies gets some Adrenalin pumping from the Pituitary down into the worn out Adrenals & the tired DQ feels some life surge.
But I don't blame it all on our personalities with all the marketing influence & tv to show us how to be important in today's world. Just being a good human has become pretty inadequate compared to Lucy's shennanigans & saving herself........
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