Greetings,
I 'm glad I found this group. I was reading the questions on your headline so I thought I'd answer them.
<If one or both of your parents is an alcoholic, please share your experiences on how it has affected your life.>
My Mother didn't start drinking until I was in my 30's. I don't remember when. We lived together for a long time. Both worked, payed bills, she drank, I didn't. It affected me because it was annoying as hell to be around her when she drank or when she drinks. I would find myself going out on a Friday and/or Saturday night and staying out all night even when i was tired and wated to go home. I felt it was my only escape. I would go to bar and hang out then when it closed I would go to after hours and after that closed I would go to a 24 hr cafe and eat usually winding up at home around 4 or 5a.m. the next morning. Then i would sleep all day and have to hear later about what wasn't done or what needed to be done or that she wanted to spend time with me. I confronted her about the drinking once. It was a good talk but nothing has changed . I have offered my support and it still stands and always will. Now I live 2 hours away and I know that we could not live together again while she is drinking nor do I want us to live together no matter how much I love her. It was a great separation for many reasons.
< Has it been detrimental to your success and happiness?>
Yes, it has made me angry, anxious and depressed. Rather I have allowed those feeling but don't know how to control them at times. I am in treatment for anxiety and depression. Not solely related to Mothers drinking but it is a definite factor.
Have you been able to overcome the negative effects and fullfill what is your definition of success in life?
Uhm, to some degree. I work at a job I love. But then in November I left my ex who is an alcoholic and am still dealing with some residual anger. Today I went to my second Al Anon meeting and they are helping.
So, there is much more but I thought I would start here.
Blessings-Greg
I 'm glad I found this group. I was reading the questions on your headline so I thought I'd answer them.
<If one or both of your parents is an alcoholic, please share your experiences on how it has affected your life.>
My Mother didn't start drinking until I was in my 30's. I don't remember when. We lived together for a long time. Both worked, payed bills, she drank, I didn't. It affected me because it was annoying as hell to be around her when she drank or when she drinks. I would find myself going out on a Friday and/or Saturday night and staying out all night even when i was tired and wated to go home. I felt it was my only escape. I would go to bar and hang out then when it closed I would go to after hours and after that closed I would go to a 24 hr cafe and eat usually winding up at home around 4 or 5a.m. the next morning. Then i would sleep all day and have to hear later about what wasn't done or what needed to be done or that she wanted to spend time with me. I confronted her about the drinking once. It was a good talk but nothing has changed . I have offered my support and it still stands and always will. Now I live 2 hours away and I know that we could not live together again while she is drinking nor do I want us to live together no matter how much I love her. It was a great separation for many reasons.
< Has it been detrimental to your success and happiness?>
Yes, it has made me angry, anxious and depressed. Rather I have allowed those feeling but don't know how to control them at times. I am in treatment for anxiety and depression. Not solely related to Mothers drinking but it is a definite factor.
Have you been able to overcome the negative effects and fullfill what is your definition of success in life?
Uhm, to some degree. I work at a job I love. But then in November I left my ex who is an alcoholic and am still dealing with some residual anger. Today I went to my second Al Anon meeting and they are helping.
So, there is much more but I thought I would start here.
Blessings-Greg
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Re: New Here
Wed, June 14, 2006 - 4:35 PMHi Greg
Thanks for joining.
It was my father who drank, pretty much as far back as I can remember. There was a short stint of sobriety, but he continued to be a very Jekyl and Hyde type person.
I think that it has effected my personality and how I function in the world, especially in social situations or performances.
Besides having that background I also suffer a mental illness called OCD, which also contributes to problems.
Still I am hopeful even though every day life is a challenge for me. Currently I am taking small steps to do the things that are important to me. -
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Re: New Here
Wed, June 14, 2006 - 5:05 PMHi Wendy,
Yes I am very familiar with OCD. I have worked in mental health mostly as a case manager for the past 20 years. Somehow I never figured I would be going through treatment for mental illness. But then there is no shame in needing help. There's many reasons I went into this field and maybe this is one of them.
I understand about the Jekyll/Hyde complex. My Mother gets it but its not an agry rage, it's just sad and its all about the things she should have tried to change, could have change, mistakes she made and breating herself up because she thinks she was a bad parent. Nothing I can say changes any of it so I stopped saying it.
Anyway, gotta run.
Greg
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