Unlike the two of you, my father is dead to me in life. About a month ago, my mother wrote him a letter, hoping to clear the air of some of our family's past garbage. The letter was thoughtfully worded and non-blaming in tone. (She showed it to me.) But, for the first time ever, the words "sexual abuse" were used. About two weeks later, without a single word passing between us, I received a letter from my father stating that he felt it was time to "terminate the relationship and move on." Terminate the relationship? What kind of man sends such a letter to his only daughter without a single word?

Yeah, it hurts. It hurts a lot more than I'd like to admit. And, yes, I know that from an objective viewpoint, it's a fairly typical alcoholic response. But I'm not objective. I never once accuse, berated or blamed the man for having destroyed my life. And now HE disowns ME?! The injustice of it is equalled only by the irony.

So, yes, he has chosen to die to me. It may bring a lot of pain, but at least it also brings release.